wtf

sometimes i get sad. sometimes i can figure out a reason, and sometimes...im just sad. life gets overwhelming and i am the type of person who desires time alone to cry and think about things. it sucks when i get confused though and take it out on the wrong people. i think i really upset someone i love today. i wish i could go back and handle it differently. or i wish i could fast forward to when im done being so down. cuz this middle part of watching myself continuously fight and hurt this person and make things more and more complicated really sucks. i dont know whats wrong with me.

i miss my happiness. i miss my confidence. i miss the way i used to not rely on anyone or anything to make me content. i just was. i just knew i had a good life. but lately i feel ive gotten to the point where i expect other people to make me happy. thats not fair. i need to go back to how i used to be and take care of myself. the things other people do that please me....that just adds to my good life....it doesnt make it!

so anyway....im gonna crawl in bed and watch some crappy tv and cry out all this sadness so tomorrow i can go back to normal. cuz im just so so tired of this. this is not the girl i want to be. im so much better than this.